#1 Simple Change that
Turned My Life Around
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Redemption and Discovering the Proper Measure of Success
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Two years after I broke free from the iron grasp of strip clubs, I was still lost and floating around. I was no longer trying to fill the hole inside me with air, yet I lacked the resources to fill it with anything else.
I was still working 80+ hour weeks. I was still trudging into work at 3am. I was still skipping at least 2, if not all, of my meals every day. I was still resisting the need to go to the bathroom until after trading hours. Slowly, despite my 0-1 meals per day, I felt my pants tighten, the button at the waist valiantly fighting to contain my increasing girth.
I still had no contact with anyone other than my brokers on the phone and the occasional clipped conversation with a coworker.
My life was still flat and meaningless.
Until one day Mark, the man who taught me how to trade, called me up and said “We’re going to surf the Maldives. There’s 10 of us. We’re going to take down the entire boat. For 10 days our feet won’t even touch land.”
The Ocean Dancer and her surf dinghy
Most people are excited by vacations. Even just the prospect of a vacation is enough to get them excited.
For me it was terrifying. Fears raced through my head. All the excuses why I couldn’t go came screaming into my mind…
Vacation? I’ve never gone on vacation. Who’s going to take care of my accounts? Who’s going to trade? Who’s going to develop the reporting systems? I couldn’t leave my desk for 5 minutes to go to the bathroom; what made me think I could leave for 2 weeks? I hadn’t socialized with people for years... how was I going to handle being on a boat with 10 people for 10 days?
I nearly didn’t make it on that trip. All the way up to the minute the taxi came to pick me up for the airport, my mind raced with the excuses I could give Mark for why I had to cancel.
I was willing to pay for the entire trip and not even go on it!
But every day, I thank my lucky stars that I went on that trip.
Alone in middle of the ocean, hundreds of miles from the nearest continent, dozens of miles from the nearest island, the hole inside of me was refilled.
Nothing but water and clouds as far as the eye can see…
I ate and laughed and talked with friends about everything and nothing for the first time in years.
Relaxing for the first time with part of the group
And while my newly reacquainted friends took the surf dingy out in search of waves, I perched upon roof of Ocean Dancer and finally put my life on pause and reflected on what I was doing with it.
The Ocean Dancer, where the key was revealed
There, soaking in the sun, breathing in the air, rocking in the water, alone and gazing at the infinite horizon…
An undeniable truth emerged from my heart.
I was unhappy…
I was unhappy because I had been living my life the wrong way…
I had been living the wrong way because I wasn’t measuring my life properly…
I was using the wrong measuring stick!
You see, I had bought into society. I bought into media. I bought into school. I bought into my parenting. All of which had taught me to measure my success in money.
So making myself “successful” I lived a life of money. I worked for a 2 Trillion dollar company. I traded 200 Billion every day. I saw so many zeros after dollar signs, they stopped meaning anything to me.
When I saw a 3, it didn’t mean 3; it meant 3 million. Anything less than a million was a decimal point to me.
So there I was accumulating money. Surrounding myself with money. Filling my entire day with money.
All because I measured my success in money.
And while I was surrounded by money, I had absolutely zero relationships. I had absolutely zero happiness.
So sitting there on the boat in middle of the Indian Ocean, I finally figured it out...
I was using the wrong measuring stick!
I had measured my life in money, and so I had filled my life with it. But what I really wanted – what every person wants deep down at the root cause of it all – wasn’t money.
It was happiness.
And if I wanted happiness, then I had to start measuring my life and my success in happiness rather than money.
Once I switched out my measuring stick, it was only natural that I quit my job soon after.
You see, most people measure their success by their income. I make $1 million per year, so I’m successful. Or I make $30,000 per month, or $3000 per week, or $200 per day, or $10 per hour.
I’ve often heard the gurus say that the more successful you are, the longer term vision you have. So you measure your income in decades or years rather than hours or weeks.
That’s actually good advice…
If you use money as your measuring stick for success.
But ever since I started measuring my success in happiness, I completely disagree on every single dimension.
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I say, the more successful I am, the more capable I am of living in and enjoying the moment.
So now I measure my success in smiles per hour rather than dollar per year.
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My own smile counts.
It counts because my most important job in every single moment is to make myself happy.
So there’s no excuse for there to be any less than one smile per hour. And on particularly rich and memorable days, there are dozens.
Count the blessings in your life. Count the things you have to be grateful for. Count the joys, count the smiles, count the laughter.
How many smiles have you seen today? How many smiles have you caused today?
How many smiles have you put on today?
To your incredible life! May you measure it in a way that brings you joy!
Kane
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