Being Wrong Miniseries #9
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You're wrong...Or is the rest of the world?
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Today we’re going to go over an important technique that is the one reason why I’ve been able to learn so much faster than most.
Yesterday, we left off with a cliffhanger: If someone gives us criticism or feedback, how can we tell whether they're giving us an opportunity to learn and improve, or they're just plain wrong?
The answer is a technique I use all the time both in business and in relationships.
And it's the best way I know of to receive feedback and criticism.
Ready to listen and learn?
We imagine we’re holding a catcher's mitt in front of us. When someone gives us feedback or criticism, we catch their words in front of us in the mitt rather than taking their words in and internalizing them or reacting to them right away.
With their words still outside of us and held in our mitt, we examine them as objectively as we can. Then categorize them into 1 of these 4 buckets:
1) "False."
If the feedback or criticism is wrong, we just toss it in the garbage. That's it. Thank you and good-bye. No one gets hurt.
2) "True."
If the feedback or criticism is right or useful in any way, keep it. Recognize the learning opportunity and internalize it – take it all the way in - so that it makes us a better person or better at what we do.
3) "Maybe."
If we're not sure whether the feedback is true or false, then we hold onto it in our catcher's mitt while we figure it out. These steps can help:
-Ask the person who gave the feedback for more information so we can better make a determination. (Often times, we'll find it's not about us at all; it's about them or their ego.)
-Discuss it with a mentor, an expert, or an appropriate professional.
-Research and read about it.
-Observe our actions and the outcome the next time we do, say, or act out the same thing.
-Ask other friends if they believe it's true in any way.
When we gather enough information, we can re-evaluate the feedback and bucket it into “True” or “False” and either internalize it or throw it away.
4) Any ideas what this could be?
I’ll leave your creative brain to think about it overnight. It’s not immediately obvious, but it’s my favorite bucket. I learn the most from it and whenever I see one in this bucket I know it will massively changes lives and lead to significant growth.
Email me if you come up with it!
Kane
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