Dear Practical LOA #5
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear PLOA: Isn’t it Supposed to be Easy to Feel Emotions?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's been a little while since we've had an edition of "Dear Practical LOA." Today's question comes from the United States and was stimulated by my introduction of Margie's Heart Chakra meditation.
>>>Get Margie's Heart Chakra opening meditation here
Our fellow Practical LOA family member, "BB" writes:
"Hey Kane, I've noticed this subject of trying to feel emotions is hard for me. It's like I know I have to open up and let myself feel emotions, but its hard for me, and I always feel like im trying to force myself to feel. But isn't it supposed to be easy to feel emotions? It's almost like my body doesn't actually want me to feel any emotion."
And BB is right! When we are emotionally turned off, some part of us does not want us to feel... because at some point it became unsafe for us to feel and we've carried that fear into the present.
So, what can we do about this?
Great question! A lot of people have this problem. In fact, it is rare to find anyone who is not to some degree shut down. Even empaths, who are extremely sensitive to the feelings and energies of others have this problem; they shut their own emotions down because they are already overwhelmed by the feelings of others.
It was once easy for us to feel emotions. We were are born with the ability to feel strongly and deeply.
But at some point it became unsafe for us to feel. It could have been a bully at school. A mean teacher. Abusive family environment. It could be lack of acceptance and support from the people we needed love from as children.
It's not necessarily that they didn't love or care for us. It's just that we weren't understood; they didn't recognize how we were different as individuals and the different encouragement we needed. Often times our family and those around us when we were growing up were emotionally shut off themselves, so were not fully capable of creating an environment for us that allow us to stay open.
Go back into your past and search where you didn't get what you needed. Look for what made it unsafe for you to feel.
For me, I grew up in an extremely volatile environment. My earliest memories are of me at 3 years old standing in between family members, breaking up fights, pacifying everyone. I know there was a time when my emotions weren't cut off. There are films and pictures of me laughing, being silly that prove it. But, I don't have a single happy memory from childhood.
Soon, the only emotion I could feel with certainty was anger. And there was nothing I wanted more than peace.
When we get to this stage, we shut ourselves down emotionally. It's not safe for us to feel, so we go numb - we shut our feelings down or at least tune down our sensitivity to them.
The longer we go turned off, the more turn ourselves off. We develop antisocial behavior. We develop hyper-social, attention-seeking behavior. Either way, it can be difficult to develop lasting relationships. We start seeking other ways to keep the feelings down. Television, internet, drugs, sex, porn, food, sugar, alcohol... these are all common ways to tune out.
And as long as we feed those addictions, we will continue to be emotionally shut down.
The people I know who have struggled with addiction and are now sober are the most emotionally rich and feeling people I know. It can be a lot to handle, which is part of the temptation to slip and use again. But once they become emotionally balanced, they become wonderful, feeling, and sensitive people that everyone is drawn to. They become incredible listeners and engaging speakers. (Have you ever not been drawn in by former addict speaking on stage?)
Turning ourselves back on can take some time. It took a long time to shut ourselves off and we've been off for a long time. Here's what you can do:
- Recognize what made it unsafe for you to feel
- Forgive yourself and all the people involved in making it unsafe for you to feel
- Realize that it is safe for you to feel now
- Realize that you have the power to Create anything in your life, including a feeling, emotionally rich life
- Adopt the mantra I gave you: "What would it take for it to be easy for me to open my heart and receive love? Anything in the way of that, delete, uncreate, and transmute."
- Listen to heart clearing meditations like the one I introduced to you from Margie.
>>>Get Margie's Heart Chakra opening meditation here
- In the next week or so, I will introduce you someone else who has accelerated the opening of my own heart and can help tremendously
- Have someone who is capable and you trust to help clear your energy. These things can be difficult to overcome on our own and having the support of someone else who knows what they’re doing is very powerful
May we all become the emotionally rich and feeling people we were meant to be!
Kane
|
|
|
|